Because mankind's capacity for stupidity is limitless

homeless veterans

#256 IT Fright Desk

by 2Kens on September 9, 2013

Technology: our go-to source for insanity

This week we explore the source of a fair share of your insanity and ours: technology! Good thing we’re not, like, addicted to it. ;-)  Wait until you hear this batch of actual workplace tech trouble calls.

Helicopter parent? We found an app to get you hovering higher than any mom or dad in the ‘hood.

Oh, lazy lover boy? We found a website that does the wooing for you. You already dropped a day’s pay on that gimme-any-match-ya-got service. What’s a few bucks more to keep her interested? Guaranteed to work.

Music from New Jersey, indie pop-rocker, Oliver James. Pay close attention to his closing song, “Keep Breathing.” He wrote it to pay homage to men and women in the armed services, and as a plea to return home safely. September is Suicide Prevention Month. According to the VA, 22 veterans take their own lives every day. If you know a Veteran in crisis, please give them this confidential toll free number: 1-800-273-8255. The Veterans Crisis Line is staffed 24/7 by caring, qualified VA responders—many of them, Veterans. Since its inception, calls to the Crisis Line have helped to stop 30,000 suicides in-progress.

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#255 Walmart: Can we put you on layaway?

Sep 2, 2013
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Attention Walmart shoppers: Free wedding cake in Aisle 9. You know we don’t make it up. Plus ~ 2Kens Public Enemy #1 .. a road sign after our own hearts .. a fresh batch of Fun with English .. and three bozos who forgot the key to getting away with a crime is getting away.  Enjoy the show! Special musical guest: Jim Armstrong! Toronto’s […]

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#252 Revenge of the Puppets

Aug 12, 2013
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Pulling strings… Remember the TV news station in Cleveland who sent puppets to cover a corruption trial? Tits McGee had the night off. We flash back to our #3 most popular show of all time … “Puppet Justice.” All rise. Hookers, hooters and brown boobies… Made ya look. We caught news sites running that ploy. […]

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#251 Chutzpah

Aug 5, 2013
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Big cojones, tiny brain A small town mayor with a higher blood-alcohol than IQ tests a local cop- with unpredictable results. Moooood swingers Our summer countdown of your favorite episodes returns to the magic barn where the bovines give mellow milk. You made this one our 4th most popular. Thank you! Tweet

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#244 Dirty Laundry

May 27, 2013
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FAIL! Some things we just don’t want to know. Won’t stop FlyerTalk from printing it. Some one needs $30 badly enough to swim in sleaze. PS: you can use an alias. If at first you can’t abstain… YPSILANTI. We think it means, City of Braindead Lawmakers. You want cuffs with that? Without dumb luck she’d have.. WAIT! Is […]

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#243 Parenting for Dummies

May 20, 2013
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You didn’t see the puddle? Can’t wait till these RTs flood our timeline. [starts at 12:20 mark] Also this week: what craigslist looks like after the prostitution police shut ‘em down. Other stuff we didn’t make up Quite possibly the world’s worst hire for a fairly common city job, plus advice for would-be burglars: Don’t fall asleep on […]

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#242 Geezers Gone Wild

May 6, 2013
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They want their MTV… Mayberry TV that is. A Carolina station time-shifts Sheriff Andy for local news and hears it from the Denny’s 4 p.m. crowd. Don’t screw with hungry codgers! A strong gust of wind… ..and old man Huyett orbits his farm- TP in one hand, Montgomery Ward catalogue in the other. Might be what it takes to […]

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#240 Tweet If You’re a Dic**ead

Apr 22, 2013
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Epicurtunist… Don’t bother. Webster’s can’t spell 21st century & Google’s busy snapping pix of your house.  Take any heinous act, notify marketing, add Twitter. PRESTO! Enough self-serving bullshit to feed a city. Condé Nast must be so proud. (Oh, grow up! The shareholders ain’t whining) This show contains content some may find offensive. There’s a flash! Other crap we didn’t […]

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#239 They Got the Money

Apr 8, 2013
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Surviving tax prep season? Helps if you laugh about it. This week’s show will help you forget for 15 minutes that we are the Have Nots. We found the world’s most spoiled toddler … the dumbest idea in dining out history … and two criminals too stupid to breathe (if only). Music from Boston piano rocker Matthew Ebel and […]

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#238 Shotgun Justice

Apr 1, 2013
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Neighborhood Block Head Watch… High crime where you live? Hand out scatter guns. Arizona, no less. No foolin’ – Two universities actually spent research $$ to study whether darkness makes you dishonest. Heard about the bank robber who nobody took seriously? Sucker is a sucker does. Music from Alaskan country blues band Steelhead and trop rock from Harbour […]

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#237 Wake Up Canada!

Mar 25, 2013
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Mirror Mirror… Harper Government. Dangle it in mixed political company, step back and admire the bonfire. While neo-cons and liberals spar in Parliament, Jack & Jill Q Public rage (to little avail) against his Majesty, PM Stephen Harper, a.k.a. China’s best pal in the Western hemisphere. If you missed it, late last year Mr. Harper began reshaping the […]

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