Because mankind's capacity for stupidity is limitless

fun with English

#293 – 50 Shades of Brain Freeze

by 2Kens on April 7, 2016

Slurpee turns 50 at 7-Eleven

Oh thank heaven

Be glad you didn’t try to suck down the 64 oz. Ice Age Slurpee. A product that freezes your brain turns 50?! Explains consumer thinking and 80% of network TV doesn’t it? Let the masochistic gulping games begin!

Speaking of torture

What is it about people waiting tables that brings out the Conan in American diners? We used to wonder why hard working, poorly paid customer service workers keep tolerating this crap. But then we figured it out. Same reason you keep listening to us. ;-) Got examples. Take notes.

More dumb stuff you can’t make up 

Stupid criminals Tip O’ The Week: Learn what happens when you under-price a scam to get OPM. Plus a fresh batch of Fun With English!

Music from Operators (Cold Light), The Lumineers (Ophelia), Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers (Why Do Fools Fall In Love), Missing Persons (Words).

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# 289 – Aeschylus, Little Marco & Messages from Above

Mar 11, 2016
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Dylan said it best Their names, faces and abhorrent behavior have become the laughing stock of America.  Bad enough that Ted, Marco and ‘The Donald’ haven’t a clue what decorum and ‘acting presidential’ mean.  Worse, pulling us down with them into the muck and mire of a school yard game of kickball in a rain storm has […]

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Up On Blocks – #279

Dec 2, 2014
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For the perv on your list Heard about Foxy Blox? They’re all the rage in cell block A this Christmas. Billed as an adult toy for kids, the ‘Lego’ Strip Club Set feels as icky as it looks. Who the hell thought THIS is a good idea? By the way, the strip club has a Walter White inspired […]

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Aromatherapy – #270

Jul 28, 2014

Don’t look now… No, really. FOX 46 in Charlotte, NC will do anything to suck draw in young eyeballs. Bodily functions? You bet! Send in the clown reporter Jon Dick and cue the wind machine. WJZY, you stink! Look up… Independence Day fireworks. How apropos. A prison escape straight out of Hollywood. Plus music from Shovels […]

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#266 How Do You Say Corona in French?

May 5, 2014
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Loan Shark, ‘Ma’am We go away for a few months and return to find everyone drinking Corona. For the record: Cinco de Mayo happened when the fuming French stormed into Mexico over 150 years ago to collect a debt. In Pesos. Really? So while you chug your sixth frozen Margarita, be glad a Sicilian didn’t hold the note. […]

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#255 Walmart: Can we put you on layaway?

Sep 2, 2013
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Attention Walmart shoppers: Free wedding cake in Aisle 9. You know we don’t make it up. Plus ~ 2Kens Public Enemy #1 .. a road sign after our own hearts .. a fresh batch of Fun with English .. and three bozos who forgot the key to getting away with a crime is getting away.  Enjoy the show! Special musical guest: Jim Armstrong! Toronto’s […]

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#246 Bridezillas

Jun 24, 2013
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June swoon… If you’re lucky your bridezilla came with a pre-wedding warning label. If not, well, that’s why God made Reno, Nevada. Invited to one? Careful with that gift selection. A door closes, a window opens … Which makes better neighbors– fences or an Army base? Answer: depends on what’s in your garage. (begins at […]

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#244 Dirty Laundry

May 27, 2013
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FAIL! Some things we just don’t want to know. Won’t stop FlyerTalk from printing it. Some one needs $30 badly enough to swim in sleaze. PS: you can use an alias. If at first you can’t abstain… YPSILANTI. We think it means, City of Braindead Lawmakers. You want cuffs with that? Without dumb luck she’d have.. WAIT! Is […]

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#237 Wake Up Canada!

Mar 25, 2013
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Mirror Mirror… Harper Government. Dangle it in mixed political company, step back and admire the bonfire. While neo-cons and liberals spar in Parliament, Jack & Jill Q Public rage (to little avail) against his Majesty, PM Stephen Harper, a.k.a. China’s best pal in the Western hemisphere. If you missed it, late last year Mr. Harper began reshaping the […]

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#225 Take This Job and Trash It

Nov 26, 2012
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This week … a local TV anchor duo commit career suicide in the name of independence.  Doubt Ben Franklin would’ve approved, but hey- it’s your life. You’ve a right to trash it. Just baked… a fresh batch of Fun with English. Oh, about that stupid headline? Don’t take it personally officer, the dead rarely speak with anyone. […]

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#222 Sandy Dunkin’

Oct 29, 2012
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Sandy Dunkin! Please pick up the tink- um- pink courtesy phone. Now boarding. Second star to the right and straight on till morning. Some storm, eh? As the winds howl and rattle your mind, we hope each and every one of you is high and dry, safe & sound. Here’s our Hurricane Sandy edition of You […]

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